“Future guests” Part 1 of 4.

“Excuse me, vicar, I don’t want to appear nosey, but do you know the name of the couple who have been sitting behind me in church for the past six months?”

Have you ever thought that a church should be a bit like a good hotel. Where the guests feel wanted and looked after and when the management’ s constant concern is to bring in as many people as possible who are not there now. Future guests are essential.

I would like to have a go at answering the question, ‘How can my Church become like that?’

So why don’t we get more new church members?

Where to start looking for the answer to this struck me one day last summer after I had been looking out of our kitchen window, and noticing that over half the row of nearby sweet peas looked miserable. Their stems were bent and the flowers looked half-dead.

I went outside and put on my bi-focals to examine them closely. The plants were covered in green-fly! The stems and buds were almost solid with these wretched aphids.

I realised that I must have walked past these flowers several times without noticing the infestation.

Without my glasses I could not focus onto this problem which was all the time very close to me.

I could not see the green-fly on my sweet peas even though what was wrong was right under my nose.

What I am going to say to you in this posting is this: We church people need to put on our spiritual specs and see the problems which are right under our noses -often inside the buildings where we worship.

Let us start with the topic of WELCOME to people arriving at church.

When we lived in Bournemouth, my colleague and I decided that for a period, while one of us took Sunday Evensong, the other would attend one of the other churches in the area.

I shall always remember those experiences.

I wore collar and tie, so as to appear like any other visitor to Bournemouth.

Every time I went to a “non-conformist” or “Free church” (i.e. not C. of E.), there was always someone to welcome me, ask me whereabouts I would like to sit, and generally be genuinely friendly. In passing into the main area of the church someone else would give me the books I needed.

Compare this with the Church of England churches!

The typical experience there was like this: As one entered the building there would be someone by the bookcase who was busily engaged in talking to a fellow church-member. He would hardly notice the stranger’s arrival, indeed he would only just notice you out of the corner of his eye and hand you a couple of books while the conversation with his pal continued. Probably no other person would say a word to you, (not even “good evening”), from the time of arrival to the moment of driving away in the car.

Several times the first thing seen on entering would be the behind of the person bending over the bookcase, and one waited for the book-bending body to straighten up.

These experiences were in the mid 1970s.

Following so-called “retirement”, (“re-cyclement” would be a better word!), I have been to churches in the North West, South East and “West Country” parts of England - about 40 in all - and found few exceptions to this kind of experience.

(Since I first wrote these words my wife and I have had a late Spring holiday in a large South Coast resort. On the Sunday morning we went to one of the well-known churches there. As we entered the door we saw four men, all with their backs to us, all bending over a table by the bookcase. We stood waiting for a while until one of them realised that someone was there and turned just enough to hand some books to my wife. He forgot to give me any and I had to interrupt his conversation with his colleagues to ask for mine.... Typical!)

I used to have a devotional booklet called “The Lord our Brother”, (referring to Jesus as our brother, of course). I expect the title was based on Christ’s statement, “Whoever does the will of God is my brother, sister and my Mother” (Mark 3 v.35).

In other words, His Church is intended to be His second family.

People who acknowledge the same Father, the same Elder Brother, and who have the same family Spirit are, essentially, brothers and sisters.

The old fashioned, “Dearly beloved brethren” means, “My dear brothers and sisters. I am thankful that our modern services begin with the opening words, the phrase, “My brothers and sisters ...“

But the good old Church of England, (if “good” is the right word) does not seem to believe this. There are so few ordinary church people who think of a stranger or visitor to their church as a member of the same family as themselves.

Before I go on I would like to mention one holiday experience, (but only one) when my wife and I walked into an empty pew and as we sat down the person in front of us turned round, greeted us warmly and said, "Our priest is very sincere and friendly. I'm really sure you will enjoy this service with us."

After nearly 40 years I still look back on that with great pleasure.

End of part 1: parts 2-4 to follow.